1. Get a motorcycle. All badasses have motorcycles. If you’re shaking your head, thinking to yourself, that’s not true, I’m a badass, and I don’t have a motorcycle, you’re wrong. You’re not a badass. Go get a motorcycle.
2. When the motorcycle salesperson tries to sell you a motorcycle helmet, put up your hands and say, “No thanks.” This is actually pretty easy in one of those states where you’re not legally required to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle, like Iowa, or Connecticut, and so just letting you know, you might actually wind up losing some badass points just by the fact that there are already lots of badasses already riding around without protection. But if you live in a state like New York, man, no helmet while riding a motorcycle? That’s against the law, which is seriously badass.
3. “I’m sorry…
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