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Now I hate to be the bearer of unsavoury news

contrary to what you might think, I do not like these shoes

but most of these speakers aim to decieve

the truth is the truth, no matter what you believe



It doesn’t really matter if you exercise or eat healthy

you are a lucky person if you make it to eighty

nothing can make you live longer than you can

it is what it is and you are just human



Eat bark if you want to, or drink piss if you dare

The world will go on… it just does not care

No sort of motivation will lift you beyond you

So enjoy your days for they are so few



Prince or pauper, beggar or bourgeois

you have a date with the smiling Grim Reaper

it is what it is and this is our fate

so make the best of these days while you wait



Never listen to any of these mountebanks

who claim to have the Host of Heaven in their ranks

Never wish upon prayers or dwell on the past

When the sun is up, make hay and act fast



Yet know there is an end as sure as the sun

It was marked on your person the day you were born

Be kind to the needy, make friends with the rich

but don’t play fair… deal shrewdly with each



Prepare for rainy days… plan for dark nights

No warrior is remembered for how fair he fights

Keep pushing your boundaries… keep trying your luck

Always know why the last attempt did not work



You can’t avoid danger, however hard you try

No matter your actions, you’re still gonna die

So use your life, savour every breath

At least you will be smiling when you meet your death



-brunus 

I Know Everything

I know everything

I know how the world was formed

I know the evidence

I know how they all fit in

To form the elements

I know how life was conceived

Propagated till it was believed

Passed on in large tomes

With lengthy descriptions of dead bones

I know how evolution behaves

And what the religious book says

I know they all bear the same tales

Regaling us in epic stories

I know they are rebooted

To redeem nascent incongruencies

I know how I am made up

I know my components

I know my insides or what they’d look like

If one should open it

I know how I should procreate

And I know why I cannot bear anything

Other than another human being


I know everything


I know how fast light flies

I know time doesn’t

I know the mathematical equations

To discover Kelvin’s constant

I know pi to a thousand places

I can calculate it

I know Pythagoras’s theorems

I can calculate it

I know the circumference of a circle

I can calculate it

I know the distance of the sun from us

I can calculate it

I know the weight of the earth

And her speed

As she hurtles through the blackness

I know how she bleeds

I know how fast she is dying

And how yet she can live

I know every human is trying

To kill her so they can live

I know this because she said in a dream

When I die, I’m taking you all with me

I know everything

I know how society breeds

I know how it feeds

I know how it needs

To milk off the glory of men’s deeds

I know how the next man fits

In society’s seats

How he eats or drinks

Is influenced by how he acts or thinks

I know how to react

To a friendly how-do-you-do

To a pat on the back

Or even a hostile shove too

I know who my allies are

Who to shun

And who to shoot

When it is my turn to point the gun

I know everything

I know the law

And I know its not a friend

For it will be as hostile

When it catches you on the other end

I know the law

And the books that created it

I know the craftiness

That those balding men put into it

I know it is not an excuse

To be ignorant of the law

I know where the law has

It’s most crippling flaw

I know why people subscribe

And bow down to those words

I know why the stronger man

Didn’t run the other through with his sword


I know everything


I know why religion is a hit

I know

I know that I can only reap just the thing

I sow

I know what the books say

Of condemnation and death

I also know what they preach

Of salvation of the earth

I know why there is no peace

In a religious world

I know why the sons and daughters choose

To abandon the gods

I know where the secret lies

I know all the secret lies

I know where it lies secret

But I will never reveal it


I know everything


I know what will happen

Just a few years hence

I know why currency will be abolished

Even the dollars and pence

I know why the economies

Will melt into a bowl

I know why humans will not hesitate

To sell their souls

Sell souls for gold

And sell futures for silver

I know the siren will sing

But no wise man will believe her

I know you are in control

I know you’re not in control

I know you will never have control

Until you get rid of your soul

I know where the banks

Will go with these souls

These enslaved merchants

And their coin filled bowls

I know where they will pour

Their burdensome wealth

In payment to die

On a warm hearth


I know everything


I know why you and me

Are so different and alike

I know why we bleed red

When pierced with a spike

I know where our consciences

Wave and part ways

I know when we will never listen

To what the other says

I know where we are divided

To never be joined again

I know heaven is not for the righteous

But for the savages and the heathen

I know there is not salvation

Under the preacher’s steeple

I know there is no redemption

When we are all different people


I know everything


I know why the black man gets shot

Why you can go someplace and the other man cannot

I know why power is tipped

In favour of some individuals

I know why they seem privileged

Or better than other humans

I know why elections and votes

Will never matter

No matter how many people you rally

On that matter

I know why the government

Is a select group

And why there has never been a successful coup

I know why you are allowed to be armed

Indeed I do

And I know why you wouldn’t need an excuse

To shoot me too

I know why you fight

To keep your firearm

But what use is a firearm

Without an arm?


I know everything


I know this, I know that I know every single bit

I know brevity is the soul of wit

I know that you do know

That I don’t really know shit

The Lion Ate The Pig

Once I was a young zookeeper

I was then of smaller age

I was to feed and care for the beasts

And clean each and every cage

It was fine work for any person

If he did not mind the smell

For they pay was quite good

And the animals were cute as hell

One day, I made a decision

To clean out the lions’ den

So I sent them off to romp

In a close adjoining pen

I did not know that Bartholomew

Our portly friendly pig

Had been dancing in that same pen

And the lions ate the pig

All I saw was a tinge of red

And those huge and guilty eyes

Methinks they were already halfway through

Ere they knew he was not some well fed prize

So I called my supervisor

A fat bald man with a blonde wig

And I said as meekly as I could

Sir, the lions ate the pig

-brunus

I am Rich

I am rich
After the sun sets
I retire to my lavish holdings
And drink gold in crysolite bottles
I recline in lush leather recliners
And clink glasses of jasper
I live well and I know
That I am rich

The world cannot get enough of me
And I know that I will touch the sun
Before I die
But I pray that I can redeem my soul
Before I die
I am rich knowing
That no matter how much I spend
There is more to be made
I sell my time to the four armed beast
With coins for teeth
And dollar bills for Rasta dreads
But I am rich

Financial fine ass
Drowning in molten gold
And sucking in priceless jewels
Everyday because my greed
Will never be satiated
Even by the pot of gold
Of the famed leprechaun
For as soon as it is gained
My riches are lost
Fed to the maw of leviathan
That eats up the proceeds
Of my nine to five
But I am rich

I will be rich
When I lie in that bed
Gazing upon my vast empire
Smiling at its inability
To redeem my soul
I will close my eyes
Hoping that rigor mortis will pull
My face into a quiet smile
Because I died happy knowing
That I am rich

Call To Arms

image

He is an angel
Who has seen and heard
And understood the ways
Of his fellow man.
He is a celestial being who
Has surpassed and grown
Past the common
Torture of ordinary humanity
Understand these words
And receive sense

The world is not
To the strong or meek
But to the opportune
For with the right blow
A lucky stone
May murder a giant.
You may not
Be the glistening soul
Or the epitome of beauty
But in its right time
Chance will come to you.
Await it with
A thirsty cudgel
And beat it down
That it may never
Leave you again.

The stupid are by far
More plentiful than the wise
But this is good
For by sheer numbers
Wisdom denigrates to foolishness
What makes it so precious
But its scarcity?
What makes it
So beautiful
But its distance?
Why do we cherish it so
But that we do not have it?
Therefore, the stupid
Welcome the sagacious
And the meticulous
For in them lies
The salvation
Of the homo sapiens

It is a beautiful place
I have seen
And I call it my mind
An uncultured place
Of thorns and thistles
And tombs of many thoughts
It is a beautiful place
That I found
Where the sidewalks
Glitter with brilliance
But the sun is without
Aye, it is beauty indeed
And it shall consume me
And I will thence from here
Fare ye well
I bid you grace
When I am without
I will go into that prison
And bask in my sloth

The kiln is not kindled
For items of plastic
The furnace is not bred
For articles are mere slag
Waste not effort
On mindless pursuits
Burn not the wick
For trivial drivel
It is barely cause enough
For here lies the hero
Who fought well
In a war he was
Not a part of
Here lies the charlatan
Who told his last lie
And one more

If my ear is keen
Then I will hear
If my legs are strong
Then I will run
If my heart is brave
Then I will fight
But if my mind is sharp
Then I will live
Nothing is brought
By the magic of kindness
But calculation
And shrewd dealing
Bringeth a man wealth
The lark will sing
And the lyre will play
And the shrewd
Will inherit the earth

Continue reading “Call To Arms”

50 Incredibly Easy Ways To Be A Totally Awesome Badass

Thought Catalog

Shutterstock / oneinchpunchShutterstock / oneinchpunch

1. Get a motorcycle. All badasses have motorcycles. If you’re shaking your head, thinking to yourself, that’s not true, I’m a badass, and I don’t have a motorcycle, you’re wrong. You’re not a badass. Go get a motorcycle.

2. When the motorcycle salesperson tries to sell you a motorcycle helmet, put up your hands and say, “No thanks.” This is actually pretty easy in one of those states where you’re not legally required to wear a helmet while riding a motorcycle, like Iowa, or Connecticut, and so just letting you know, you might actually wind up losing some badass points just by the fact that there are already lots of badasses already riding around without protection. But if you live in a state like New York, man, no helmet while riding a motorcycle? That’s against the law, which is seriously badass.

3. “I’m sorry…

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will you please serve the nuts?

more stars than in the heavens

Nicolas_Poussin_-_Bacchanal_before_a_Statue_of_Pan_-_WGA18284

You know the old hypothetical, useful at cocktail parties and the like: if you could invite any five fictional/historical/mythological/what-have-you people over for a dinner party, whom would you select, and why?  At some stages of my life, I would have invited five dashing, debonair types: Astaire, Grant, Nabokov, Waltz, Keaton, that kind of thing.  But now I think – perhaps because I’m in a slightly, um, different place these days – I’ve settled on an absolutely ideal (albeit completely different) dinner party.  Without further ado:

tumblr_inline_moykgfpSRu1qz4rgp

Hannibal Lecter(Mikkelsen edition)

This is a no-brainer, of course.  In fact, he would probably be the chef. (I would humbly insist on avoiding certain meats, as far as politeness allowed.) Mikkelsen’s Hannibal is a fabulous dinner guest: refined, intelligent, interested in a broad spectrum of human folly, devilishly funny, and not too hard on the eyes.  And while he may be putting us all…

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Bubba’s Laws of Intelligence (and/or stupidity)

Great read

Ubiquitous Bubba's Blog

Zeroth law of intelligence: If two systems are in intellectual equilibrium with a third system, they must be in intellectual equilibrium with each other. This law helps define the notion of intellect. The hypothesis is intended to allow the existence of an empirical parameter, the intellect, as a property of a system such that systems in intellectual equilibrium with each other have the same intellect. The law as stated here is compatible with the use of a particular physical being, for example a middle aged LARPer, to match the intellect of other beings, but does not justify regarding intellect as a quantity that can be measured on a scale of real numbers.

 First law of intelligence: Because stupidity is conserved, the internal stupidity of a system changes as idiocy flows in or out of it. Equivalently, people that violate the first law (liars) are impossible. Idiocy is the flow of stupidity from one person…

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